Fire Safety

Ways I’ve nearly started a fire:

I left the stove on and the panful of oil was about GO UP IN FLAMES, and it was literally minutes away from a spectacular blaze that would have been unstoppable.

My flipping card-type digital clock-radio got stuck and when I checked it out to see why, it had gotten so hot it singed my hand when I picked it up. Left sitting there, just stuck, it would have ignited.

A ceiling fan in an apartment restroom was turned on by the painting crew, but it was not rotating – it was stuck and not pulling any air. I had just rented that apartment and just walked in with my key in hand and the whole room was full of smoke. I got my money back and kept apartment hunting.

Plugged an area heater into an extension cord surge suppressor thing, and strange burning plastic smell filled the room for days, and one day I noticed a hole in the surge suppressor, where the heater was plugged into the suppressor. The warning tag on the heater’s cord read “only plug into a wall outlet – check frequently for heat – is outlet is hot, have a certified electrician bring it up to code. That was a CLOSE CALL.

A forth of July bloomflower bounces into a clump of dry bushes – we all run in to stomp out the resulting fire.

As kids my best friend and I blew up a bird’s nest in the eaves of my house with leftover fireworks, and that set the roof on fire. Scrambled for a hose just in time and cleaned up a gruesome mess. It was so disturbing and gruesome I never did that again. As for my friend, he wanted to blow more nests up. But seriously, it sounded sort of cool at the time. Of course it didn’t turn out to be that cool and caused nightmares for years. hey, that’s what you get for playing with fire. Before our reign of terror on living things was through, we also targeted an IMMENSE wasp’s nest under an eave my friend’s house, with a basketball. Just lobbed the ball at the sprawling nest, and when it hit, it made a “boomp” sound mixed with a “bzzzzzz” sound! Have you ever seen about 450 wasp eggs get smashed, with 120 angry wasps flying around in a mad ball, dripping orange goop piling up like jelly on the cement surface of a patio? Absolutely spectacular.

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