The wisdom you miss out on by not reading my facebook

Teaching creationism in public school. I have never heard of anything more gaddamn stupid.

Keep liberals in check with your very own Susan G. Komen HOPE HANDGUN! It’s a pink handgun. About $500. You know you want one.

I’m really urging anyone who has a passing interest in Afghanistan – see and feel the soul of Afghanistan through a riveting story worthy of an epic film. You cannot put this book down. It’s too gripping. The characters are people you’ll never forget. This semi-autobiographical novel will have you on the edge of your seat because, well, this writer, Khaled Hosseini, is a master of foreshadowing but also – it’s just damn good!

Middle Class, my name is Mitt, and I’m here to help you. I want to bring you with me to the upper class, heheh, so vote for me! It could be YOU I bring, heheh! Once there, you’ll learn to fire people, but it’s okay, they’ll fall into the safety net! Next, we’ll sell off that labor of love they were working on, collect a fast profit, and buy the next election. Sound FUN?? Heheh, look at me! I’m Mitt Romney!

Bad TV show ideas: STRANGERFEST. We take 385 total strangers and put them in a work camp, and they have to act like they’ve known each other all their lives, yet they must remain strangers, so no names. Just “hey you, c’mere.” and “Ah yeah, totally, righht? I knowww.”

This week on STRANGERFEST… “Greenshirt, pass the peas.” “Okay, Jew.” “I’m Italian.” “Shuddup, I don’t care.” “It’s an aqua shirt. You know – blue-green, turqoise?” “F*beep!* you it’s green.”

In Mac OS 10.7 “Lion,” to see the “finder window status bar” showing how much disk space you have left that has been a constant presence in every other Mac OS since 1984, hit command-/.

4th try – to tune of ELO Mr Blue sky **Hold it! Today’s forecast calls for NO RAIN!! Bom Bom Bom Bom DDDDDDDDDrumDrumDrum Sun is shinin’ in the sky, there’s not a cloud, wonder why – it’s not rainin’, ev’rybody’s outside there strollin’ and today is another rainless day, hey hey hey. … Toot Toot Toot Mr. Drought sky I wonder why you keep on coming back again (gaiiin) so sick of you. Toot toot Mr. Drought sky we need some rain, so you big jerk, just go away (wayyyy) – until a summer day – ting ting ting Gibson guitar solo.

HAHAHAHA!! (Something funny, can’t remember what)

Unless you like using things that don’t work, you don’t use Google+, you use facebook, you don’t use Picasa, you use Flickr, you don’t use Bing, you use Google, you don’t use anything but Photoshop, you ditched the Quark for inDesign and you scream in the night “WHY ILLUSTRATOR!? FREEHAND KICKED ILLUSTRATOR’S BUTT!”

“SAY IT LOUD! I’m Black and I’m Proud!” — James Brown. LIUTIU. (Look It Up, Turn It Up)

Why are we liberals shying away from Pro-Choice™? I’m upgrading.
To Pro-Choice Extreme™. The government cannot deny funding to the poor for assistance regarding contraception, abortion or childbirth. Contraception and abortion will be available and affordable to everyone. If a baby is born, there will be affordable education and healthcare awaiting it for its entire lifetime. Pro-Choice Extreme™.

How long will I be on facebook and/or the internet? Forever, right? First as an active user and then as an archive.

This Bud Light I’m drinkin’ – it literally has the flavor of a brown paper sack. It could be a new flavor. Brown paper sack Bud Light.

ah 1 ah 2 ah 1-2-3-4 nos bailamos ya

Republicans are not qualified to speak for God, so disregard what they say.

To see a bunch of cool pictures of ultimate chandeliers, gaudy chairs, Elvis mirrors, pianos cakes, killer lounges and cute puppies, just Google Image Search “Liberace Chandelier.”

It’s already Thursday?


“It’s really laughable. Ha ha hahaha Ha ha hahaha Ha ha hahaha ho hohoho ha hahaha ha ha hahaha ha ha hahaha.” –Morrissey

My juice is sweeter. My juice is sweeter. My juice is sweeter. My juice is sweeter. Skin up is sweeterahhh. Skin up is sweeterahhh. Skin up is sweeterahhh. Skin up is sweeterahhh. Skin Up!

I’m sittin’ ‘ere just lookin’ at these pictures of Iran…

Get your Ronco Iranian attack deflectors! On sale now! Only $9.95 if you order before midnight tonight! They’re made in Iran.

A beautifully made documentary with starkly vivid revealing personal experience interviews called “We Were Here” will hit theaters of select cities this September 2012. Screened here in Fresno in September 2011, I can attest the interviews that drive it from start to end are riveting first-person accounts given by survivors of the AIDS crisis that hit the gay community in the early 80s.

On New Year’s Day, if there has been no snow, 100+ families drive to Yosemite National Park’s Tenaya Lake, pitch lawnchairs, put on their ice skates, scarves and and sunglasses, venture past the warning signs about thin ice, and skate all around the frozen surface of the pristine mountain lake. Check it out on the web.

“Armistead Maupin is a man I drempt up.” Somebody muyst have a copy of that documentary about Armistead Maupin, one of the most eloquent gay voices of my lifetime. Him and the late Michael Callan.

I love eccentric people. Like Hungrybear9562 and his ol’ lady on You Tube.

Tell former Senator Chris Dodd to GO HOME and STOP LOBBYING!!

I really miss Eliseo.

Just received a package mailed directly from Hong Kong, Peoples Republic of China. Where America Shops.

I just poked four people – Hullo world!!

Are you a Democrat? Do you need a pep talk? Look up Harry Truman quotes.

Fresno State Campus, November 1987. The short-lived “anti-gay” booth went up just after the Gay and Lesbian Student Alliance booth was burned down over the Thanksgiving Break.

Youssou N’Dour steps into the race for President of Senegal! I highly recommend his early 90s music for intense listening pleasure.

Cleve Jones is a freedom fighter, a man, like Harvey Milk, I deeply admire.

We want AutoCat for Lion! We want AutoCat for Lion!

Football is a sport I actually know little about. I can’t identify most of the positions. There’s “tacklers” “tackler blockers” “rushers” “Rusher tacklers” “rusher tackler blockers” “rusher tackler blocker blockers” and so on!

I’ve never seen a wide receiver get so open. But the rules clearly state once he puts on a move, he’s fair game to start hittin.

Winners come out of tough times. #recessionrepression

You gotta luv Brit Pop! Eh? Eh? Like Scissor Sisters. C’mon now, eh?

Do you like Prince? Do you like him so much you don’t care how much that dates you as old? Then be advised he recorded an awesome song in 2010, “Beginning Endlessly” LIUTIU! (Look it up, turn it up!)

You know what? Old Faithful blows.

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