Still on my to-do list: buy a roll of duct tape to stop terrorism.


Right after the 9/11 attacks, our government officials came up with small ways for us citizens to all do our part in the face of a new and dangerous enemy, al quaida.

Shop and support the economy, always know what the current threat level color is and what the colors mean, support the new war efforts by displaying the flag, if you see something, say something and refrain from dissent, as it gives aid and comfort to the enemy. You are either with with us or you’re with the terrorists.

Also, make sure you are prepared. Have your affairs in order. Secure the home. Buy a bigger vehicle. Get duct tape and plastic tarp to seal out agents being dispersed in the air in the event of chemical or biological attack.

Can I make a U.S. flag out of duct tape and plastic tarp to show my support?

No. That would be quite disrespectful. Go and sit in the corner, young man.

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