Detroit on FOX

Detroit. A town on its knees in sheer despair. A once great city now just a shadow. No, not even a shadow, of its former self. A failed, pathetic city. So failed and pathetic that it’s been learned only a sports team can save it, if only just for a few more weeks of life. Why does this city fight? Because of hope.
But should this sports franchise fail to advance to glorious championship, it’s sayonara, Dètroit! There will be no more.
It will be bad. Every bird will fly away, every flower wilt, every house crumble, every skyscraper fall down. Yes. Down, down to the musty, littered soil in dusty implosions and creaking rusty beams snapping, and glass shattering, ending what once was the mighty American arsenal of Democracy that won the great war.
So, will Detroit advance top the World Series, or will it all come to an end?
WILL, under a sky of starless cloudy gloom the tears of the broken hearted and the pussy discharges of the sick and dying will all pour out into the streets and carry the sobbing, rotting flesh mess into the sea?
We find out now. Get ready for the first pitch. It’s the Tigers versus the Texas Rangers, Game 3 of the ALCS, coming up after this commercial break, on FOX!

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