Yet Another Halloween Disaster

It’s down to the wire for anything for Halloween. My first idea was too ambitious: Elton John. Big Problem: find a complete white outfit with crazy rose colored glasses, a cane (?), flowers and whatever else he wore onto a stage in 1973-1981. You know, that will take some time, like a few months, to assemble out of thrift stores. Okay, forget the Elton. Too late for Elton.
So, time to lower ambitions:
A friend says the Spirit Halloween Superstore might have some hippy getups still left. I can use my tie-die shirts with that. One shopping day left! I have a weird feeling that won’t work.
There’s a lot of make up kits still at the store. I have a problem with makeup: I can’t put it on. I have the make-up application talent of a 4 year old, probably because my parents strongly discouraged makeup for me because I was a boy. Unlike with a lot of gayboys, it never occurred to me that I could cross the line between “boy” and “girl” like a scab at a Teamsters shock absorber factory.
Time to look around the house for anything silly. I have a Hawaiian aloha shirt, and I can get some novelty hat and be, like, I’m thinking: ’70s audiophile ala “Hi Fi Tweeter” from the Beetle Bailey comic. You know, the old favorite classic comic strip where the pestering private gets beaten to a pulp by his sergeant every day.

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